Never Like the Fairytales
by TheRavenAndBear
Summary: Just a little BOTFA fanfic based on Tauriel's thoughts about losing Kili. Truly a feels fic. Completely pure and not at all gory. Just started writing it my free time because I felt like I needed to. Wasn't really planning on publishing, but oh well.


**I began writing this one-shot a long time ago. I spent a few moments on it every once in a while over the course if the past months, and just finally got it to the point of publication.**

 **I was never really planning to publish it since it's so far off from my usual stories, but I thought that it was too good to keep to myself. I just wanted to treat my Hobbit readers and break your hearts a little bit.**

 **I really enjoyed writing this and would like to hear your thoughts on how I did, no matter how long ago this story was posted.**

 **Those of you who are book devotees, please don't give me a ton of criticism for writing about this pairing. I've read all the books and watched the movies. I think that the story between the two was a really unique and heartbreaking idea.**

 **So, without further ado, here is my little one-shot.**

Nothing.

That is all that Tauriel felt as she used what strength she had left to climb up the side of the steep cliff. At any other time the climb may have been enjoyed. The cool, crisp air stung her fair skin, which was now littered with various bruises and scratches. Before, the air would have been welcomed and even enjoyed. Tauriel imagined that the scenery would have been quite beautiful up here, as well, had there not been a dreadful battle raging below her. The screams of the dying filled the air, and when there weren't screams to be heard there was the horrible sound of the silence of the dead.

It seemed strange that it was the silence that screamed the loudest in Tauriel's ears; she had never been bothered by it before. Death had never seemed real; at least not to her. She was an elf- an immortal. She never had to worry about death. She was a skilled fighter and had learned to never let anything touch her, so why was she so suddenly startled with the one thing that seemed so far from her? Tauriel was immediately reminded once she reached the top of the cliff.

"Kili." She whispered to herself as she rushed to the side of the one she had done all of this for.

Tauriel dropped down next to the dwarf and brushed the hair out of his face to reveal his pale complexion. Kili's skin was ice cold, and she knew in her heart - though she wanted anything in the world, but to believe it - that he was already gone.

Tears presented themselves once again as Tauriel felt her heart wrench with grief. What was this? How could there be so much pain over one simple dwarf - over a mortal?

 _But he wasn't simple, was he?_

No. Kili was nothing like Tauriel had expected him to be. He was kind and thoughtful and he wasn't prideful or blind to other races. She couldn't explain _why_ she felt the way she did about him, she just felt it. Tauriel's heart twisted at the thought of being near him, but everyone told her it was wrong. Was it so wrong to love? Was it so wrong that she had followed what her heart had told her?

Perhaps it was. Kili was dead, because of her. All she had wanted was to help, but she endangered the one she thought she had loved, and now he lay dead on the ground before her.

Tauriel weeped softly as she pulled Kili's hand into hers. She took out the rune stone he had given her on the shore. Though she could not read the inscription, she knew what it meant to Kili. It was a promise. She had returned to him and fulfilled that promise, but Kili would never fulfill _his_ promise. She wrapped up the stone in his fingers and pulled his hand to her pink lips

"Amrâlimê." She whispered. Her free hand drifted down to Kili's face where she wiped away the tears that still lay on his cheeks. The tears he had shed in his dying moments; tears for her, she knew. He'd given his very being to save her.

 _Are you willing to die for it?_

The Elven King's words rang in her ears. Tauriel was every bit as ready to die as Kili was. This was love. This was love. This _was_ love... and it hurts. Love can make you feel more alive than you ever have felt before... but when it's over, you couldn't feel any closer to the arms of the Valar.

Oh, how she wished for just a few more moments with him. A few moments to tell him how she had felt about him. Kili had made it clear that he loved her, but Tauriel was too afraid. She was too afraid that they wouldn't make it. She was afraid; too afraid to fall, but seeing Kili stand up for his love, all alone, somehow brought her to life, and now, she couldn't imagine her life without love. It hurt too much to comprehend.

Tauriel felt a sudden presence before her, but she dared not look up from the face of the one lying before her. "They want to bury him." She said, quietly.

"Yes." Came the whispered and barely audible voice she knew so well.

"If this is love, I do not want it. Take it away from me." Tauriel looked up into the eyes of her king. They were filled with hurt from memories long since buried. " _Please._ " She begged, though she knew it would do no good.

Her king continued to stare with a pitying gaze. His lips seemed unable to open.

She lowered her head and pinched her eyes shut. "Why does it hurt so much?" She managed to get out, though her voice was shaky and cracked, not smooth and pure as it normally was.

There was a slight moment of silence, raging silence, before anything was said to answer her. "Because it was real."

Tauriel met her king's careful gaze, once more, still seeing that same hurt. They sat that way for a few lingering moments. Tauriel knew that she had seen a grief in the king's features; an unspeakable grief.

He was the first to break away, seeming unable to bear the sight any longer, and Tauriel was left with her loss.

 _It was real_.

That was all Tauriel had needed to hear. She'd wanted to believe it, but everyone told her otherwise. It was _true_ love. The words came from the Elven King himself.

 _It was real._

Tauriel bent down and pressed her lips to those of Kili's. They were cold and only worked to draw more tears from her eyes. She'd never cried this much before. It must have been hundreds of years since she last let one of these warm, wet, eye-stinging tears run down her face. She'd never thought of the consequences of falling in love before now. It was always something so far from her. Something that was out of her reach. The maidens at Mirkwood who _had_ found love always talked of how lucky they were, saying it was a once in a lifetime kind of love.

 _Once in a lifetime._

What did that mean for her? An elf's lifetime had no limits. Would she truly only find _one_ love like this in her _entire_ lifetime? Tauriel didn't care. She didn't _want_ to love again. If this was the consequence of caring so deeply for another, then she wouldn't take it. They never mention this part in the myths and fairytales of old. Every story ends with 'they lived happily ever after,' but how could they? Death is the inevitable end. Any story that ended in the death of love was not one worth telling, but it was all too real.


End file.
